I need help removing her.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
