dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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