so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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