if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
