Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Do vagina's smell?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize