I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
