i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
