You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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