Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize