i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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