Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
