Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
