I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
