come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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