also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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