I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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