so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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