The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
