porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
