just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I forget how to act sober
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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