woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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