You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
