FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
