Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
