Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
