i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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