Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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