if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Say something about gay babies.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
sex in a hospital.. check
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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