Small penises have feelings too.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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