I think my vagina is haunted
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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