Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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