Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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