Don't make out with my wife yet
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
NoShamevember. You game?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
