she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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