Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
