I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
