Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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