Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
