tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
