Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
where are you?
Hypothermia
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
