What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
