If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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