$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
