How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
