Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
