Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
