Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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