I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
