You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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