Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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