Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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