Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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