that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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