even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
