oh god the rape fog is back!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
