i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
