At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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