i think my mom watched the whole time
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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