doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
