There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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