She announced her abortion via fbk
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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