I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize