U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
