Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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