Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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