If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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