i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
