Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my vag is so smooth its legendary
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
