i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
