His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
